When birthdays are sad.

Today would have been her 31st birthday.  I try to imagine what her life would be like if the cancer had never happened.  She was happier than most, and Her happiness inspired you to be the happiest you could possibly be.  

If she were here we would all celebrate today and gather around to hear all of her jokes and stories.  She was a performer that way, and had an infectious laugh too.  

Sometimes I still forget that she's really gone and I still reach for the phone when I need her.  

I know she's gone in body, but we've all been blessed by her presence this last year and a half.  She gives just enough for us to remain happy about her short visit.

Her mom and I share all of the moments we get to dream about her.  She tells me we don't have much time and we have to make every moment count together. Sometimes we laugh like nothing ever happened and other times I know we're on borrowed time and we just cry.  Each moment and memory is a blessing, and I am forever changed by elementary school Andrea, church Andrea,  actress Andrea, sister at heart Andrea, high school Andrea, travel buddy Andrea, and best friend Andrea.  

So here I am all alone on your 31st, and I'm thinking about how this is the best 21 year relationship anyone could ask for.

"Time is very slow for those who wait.

Very fast for those who are scared.

Very long for those who lament.

Very short for those who celebrate.

But for those who love, time is eternal."

-William Shakespeare