E-mail my Heart.

“A rose is blue and violets red
say it isn't true don't tell me romance is dead
So wake up you sleepy head
all your dreams are just a kiss away

I ask you for a letter
so you emailed,have we failed?
oh you kiss with such a potential
then ask to speed up its not enough
Now I'm carrying my own bags up
17 flights of stairs love”

 

I’m pretty sure Nicholas Sparks would stop writing his endless love stories if he realized that it was this lame now. 

Love really isn’t 3-D anymore is it? Guys don't have to work for any affection in this time-that-is-after-the-2000s...what exactly is this called anyways?

I love that part in “He’s Just Not That Into You”…..

Mary: I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies.
Mary : It's exhausting.

E-Shopping

Love is supposed to be nice and easy.  I guess I’m the only left with a pre-req of being in the flesh.  Match.com, e-harmony, and best of all, Ashley Madison.    I thought affairs were exciting, I didn’t realize having an affair could be sooo convenient.  Ill keep that in mind for the future.

 Online dating is the new speed dating.  I thought a two minute date was pretty low-commitment and pretty much handed to you, until I realized I don’t have to find my match.  “They” will find it for me.  Love “they.”

 

E-Sentiments

Don’t guys realize they can now order anything online?  Flowers, chocolates, and a bride.  I think I found my match by talking to an outsourced techie in India.  I talk to him more than my boyfriend.  Love my dell & my FOB. 

E-Romance

Love is seriously dead, but when did it die?  I’m pretty sure in the early 90’s Zach was still calling Kelly, and I'm pretty sure later in that decade guys knew that they had to do something way ridiculous to get a girl to go to prom.  So what happened?? i long for the old,dusty books….big gesture; big kiss.   And mind you, this was a day in age where chicks were seriously not putting out. Ahh romance is dead all i can hope for is an e-card and a “like” on my Facebook page ( not even love!).  Thank you generation of free porn and social networking you have officially killed courting and romance.

Technology Sucks.

The Texting Chase.

As I think about the Steps of Communication with that choice crush.  I do believe it goes:

Email < Facebook < Phone Text< Phone Call < Meet in Person

At least according to Justcallher.com.  I’ve got to disagree on this.  Maybe im somewhat old-fashioned, but I’ve at least got to skip the Facebook & email, or at least put those to the back.  For me it goes this way:

Text < Meet in Person < Call < Facebook <Email

I have friends in person that I still haven’t yet added on Facebook, and I have dates with guys that still haven’t called me yet.  I think you can date someone for weeks without getting the ring, phone call that is. 

I believe for a girl you’re putting all your eggs into those texts to get that date.  So you’d better be witty, flirty, and grammatically correct.

First things first…TIMING.

Now I’m not thinking timing like, is this person “the One? “ Am I ready for this? No, no, no.  Skip all of that because you already gave him your number. 

I’m thinking more like the delay.  The making-him-wait dance.  Never text back right away.  I don’t care if he tells you, ”do you want to hang out right now im in front of your house?”  Delay is necessary.  Wait at least 15 minutes, although I would wait a little longer.  I know some girls think they’re beyond the game, the chase, etc.  No one is, and if a girl wants to be anything it’s got to be mysterious.  Nothing keeps a guy coming back faster. 

And he knows how to play the game too, trust me.  Give him the attention he gives you.  After the initial text take as long as he does.  If he texts back right away, you can do the same.  If he takes 30 minutes, take 30 minutes.  Being too available to someone, or possibly more available to them then they are to you is recipe for disaster.

Secondly…CHARM.

I’ve got to say watching girls flirt can be an intrigue or a total disaster.  It’s got to be an art.  Just the right amount of push and pull.  Too much push: You’re desperate for love or slutty.  Too much pull: You’re a bitch, snob, or not interested.  Push and pull brings back some of that good stuff guys want to smoke….mystery.  If he doesn’t know what to expect from you next he doesn’t know where you’re going, and that usually means he wants to follow. 

Much of this can be done in person, but its amazing what a little coy, upfront, flirty,  & opinionated can get you.  Keep him on his toes….always.

Thirdly….KNOW WHEN TO STOP.

Texting can become tedious after awhile.  Don’t be the one that lags the conversation, when it dies down cut it.  Trust me you don’t want to end up being the one that’s chasing him.  That’s what the phone or dates are for.  So get him interested enough just to call you or take you out.

Texting is your real first date so act accordingly.

A.